A Vote For Nobody Is A Vote For Canada

By Carrington Vanston // 2006 Jan 19

There are three major federal political parties in Canada, and a metric dozen of additional parties. None of them have ever really deserved my vote, and this time around none of them are going to get it.

Canada will soon hold its 39th General Election, and I'm not going to vote. That's not because of apathy, but rather because I really care about my country's government and I do not think anything currently on offer is good enough.

The incumbent Liberal Party are involved in what the media calls a "scandal," but in layman's terms it's simply that they stole from the Canadian public and got caught (which is basically what prompted the upcoming election). What message would I be sending if I gave my vote to a party that had just been caught stealing from me? I cannot reward a corrupt government. I would be foolish to do so. I will not vote for the Liberal Party.

The New Democratic Party is fiscally irresponsible. By "irresponsible" I mean "insane." Their long-term goal is a multi-trillion dollar deficit. I am an uncle, and my 8 year old would be justifiably disappointed in me if I voted for a party that would saddle his generation with such an unfair burden. I would be selfish to do so. I will not vote for the New Democratic Party.

The Conservative Party is against gay marriage. The official party position is something like "we wouldn't forbid a vote on it, and I guess we won't actually (i.e. publicly) insist that our party members vote along party lines." That is not enough. This is a basic human rights issue, no different than giving women the vote or abolishing slavery. It doesn't matter that I'm not gay or a woman or a slave. I cannot vote for a party that doesn't take a simple, clear "this is right, we are for it, period" stance on a human rights issue. I would be ashamed to do so. I will not vote for the Conservative Party.

The gaggle of small alternative parties are all equally ridiculous and/or offensive in either their fiscal policies or their social policies, or often both. Each one takes at least one fundamental stance that I can neither abide nor support. I will not vote for them.

So my choices boil down to: feel foolish, feel selfish, or feel ashamed. I do not want to feel any of those ways.

There is also another issue. An important issue. I do not trust politicians. I bet you don't trust politicians either. They lie. They cheat. They get involved in graft. They hedge. They change their supposed beliefs according to poll results.

Transparency International (a Berlin-based group that tracks global graft) found that Canadians believe political parties are the most corrupt institution in our country. And this was before the Gomery inquiry into the Liberal Party's recent graft scandal. Plus, over a third of those Canadians polled were sure political corruption would increase over the next three years.

I would abuse power readily and eagerly. I'd probably end up selling Manitoba for some magic beans.

So we mistrust our politicians. We think they are liars and cheats. This is not new, and it is not news.

But shouldn't it be?

How did we get to a point where we accept so readily that our politicians are dishonest? We satirize them, we complain about them, we roll our eyes and furrow our brows and sometimes even scowl our scowls. But we still vote for them. Or sometimes we just give in and vote against the ones we think are the worst.

That's not good enough. I don't want to vote against anyone. I want to vote FOR someone. But I don't have anyone to vote for, not really. Any vote I could cast would compromise my beliefs. With this ballot, all choices are selfish or irresponsible or shameful.

But I'm also not allowed to vote "none of the above." In Canada, it is illegal to spoil your ballot. In fact, it's a federal offense. According to section 167(2)(a) of the Canada Elections Act, "no person shall wilfully alter, deface or destroy a ballot." Subsection 480(1) of the Act also provides that every person is guilty of an offence who, with the intention of delaying or obstructing the electoral process, contravenes this Act.

The electoral process does not permit me to register both my willingness to vote and also my disgust and disappointment in our politicians. I can only stay home and be lumped in with those too apathetic to vote.

Or I could run for office myself. But I wouldn't vote for me, and neither should you. I am slothful and arrogant and selfish and spiteful and egotistic. And I watch a lot of porn, sometimes the really dirty kind. I disdain the leaders of most other countries, and couldn't resist telling them that to their faces. Half the world would be on my no-trade list. I would abolish copyright, limit patents to 5 years, remove all tax benefits for religions, legalize pot, criminalize pans, and introduce the death penalty for DVD region codes. Or so I assume. More likely I would be easily bribed, and I would abuse power readily and eagerly. I'd probably end up selling Manitoba for some magic beans.

What the hell kind of slogan could I run under? "Vote for Carrington: he's never killed a man just to watch him die."

Which is why I'm not fit for public office. But neither, I would argue, are those politicians we are being asked to elect. And that's the point: they are unworthy of our votes.

So they won't get mine. This Monday the only thing I will have to say is "not you, not you, not you" to everyone on the ballot. But since I'm not actually allowed to cast my vote that way, I will turn my back on the lot of them.

I will not vote foolishly. I will not vote selfishly. I will not vote ashamedly.

I will not vote at all.

What a bummer, eh?

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A Vote For Nobody Is A Vote For Canada

By Carrington Vanston // 2006 Jan 19

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