I filled up my car today. (You remember my car: it's the one that tries to kill me.) I was dismayed to see that gas prices have climbed all the way to the summit of Mount Crazy and planted the flag of Gaspriceland. In fact, it was probably planted in the chest of a Sherpa.
aside:
The official flag Gaspriceland features a big, scrawled dollar sign circled by the words "Screw you and the car you drove in on." It's black as night, and features a silhouette of somebody bent over the trunk of their car. They call it the Jolly Rogering. This not a nice flag.
end of aside
It cost $40.00 to fill up my car. I almost left it there.
Worst of all, each pump had its very own Annoy-O-Vision system: an LCD monitor that played commercials at me.
It told me about the snack special. It told me about stock prices. It extolled the joys of the car wash. It told me I looked stupid in my hat. It carefully explained the Very Rightness of the cleaning additives in the fuel my thirsty car was gulping down.
aside:
Fuel additives are made out of people.
end of aside
Today was a day that the world became a little more annoying. There is no person in this blue-green world who wants spam-vertisements thrust at their corneas and down their ear canals when they're standing in the cold pumping gas that was probably raised an extra 5 cents per metric tablespoon to pay for that bloody at-pump-TV.
That was the moment this sort of thing came into my world. It's only a matter of time before every Don't Walk sign will take it upon itself to let me know about a smoother more comfortable shave while I'm waiting to cross the street. And the following year every streetlight I approach will coincidentally happen to turn red, and will just as coincidentally stay red for the exact duration of the 6-blade Hexamatic Razor jingle.
And as I stand there unconsciously humming that catchy ditty ("He's dug by the chicks, must be blade number six!") I wonder if I'll remember that time back in 2005 when I stood in front of a highly annoying petrol pump mounted TV knowing full well it was the thin-end of a spam wedge and yet I didn't burn the whole place to the ground.
Clearly, I'm part of the problem.
