And so I'm back. With this post, provided my hastily tossed together web site code works, I re-enter the world of blogging.
Daddy's home.
2004 Jun 14 // Link // E-mail
Song in my head: "King For A Day" by Stan Ridgway
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I've long asserted that if I ever lay dying I hope I have the wherewithal to write something like “Colin did it” in my own blood. I think that's hilarious, though I suppose Colin might not think so.
Of course, Colin might also think that posting the idea here let's him off the hook because he could point to this as evidence for his innocence. So maybe this means he's safe from my clearly insane machinations.
Then again, maybe it just means I've thought of something even more insidious to do instead. You never can tell…
It's the sense of random danger that makes it so much fun to be my friend.
2004 Jun 14 // Link // E-mail
Song in my head: "Lawyer's in Love" by Jackson Browne
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Did you ever have a band or a singer that you and you alone seemed to like, or even to have heard of? Maria McKee is one of mine. She's not particularly obscure, but it happens that I know few if any people who know her music.
I had a strange experience the other day. I was waiting in my friend Sandy's car while she ducked into a restaurant to buy a gift certificate. Turning up the radio, I found myself singing along to Ms. McKee's songs (including “Things I Shouldn't Do,” which is an obscure tune even for her fans). It was a CD, of course. I'd introduced Sandy to Maria McKee's music a while back, and she took to it like a duck takes to water. Or to another duck.
It was strange to hear those songs pushing out through those dashboard speakers. It was as if I'd turned on the radio and heard the DJ say “this one's for you, Carrington.”
Which now that I think about it should happen much more often, don't you think?
2004 Jun 14 // Link // E-mail
Song in my head: "Things I Shouldn't Do" by Maria McKee
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When I was a kid, it was a big deal to see a picture of a naked gal. As far as my fifteen year old self was concerned, breasts were hearsay. It was a rare and magical occurrence to see them, because Amazon.com wishlists hadn't been invented yet.
2004 Jun 14 // Link // E-mail
Song in my head: "These Days" by Tanya Donelly
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I saw Dark Passage (1947) at Cinematheque today. It's been ages since I've seen that movie so I'd forgotten how silly much of the final act is. But that's more than made up for by the first-person camerawork of the first act. After looking straight into Lauren Bacall's eyes for a half an hour, the final reel could have been unprocessed film stock and I'd still have given it thumb's up.
2004 Jun 15 // Link // E-mail
Song in my head: "Annie Get Your Gun" by Squeeze
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I ate a “fruit on the bottom” yogurt today. It occurred to me that there was probably a meeting at Big Yogurt Company International at some point when all the powerful yogurt mongers sat around a boardroom table discussing the problem of keeping fruit yogurt mixed properly after it has sat on a shelf for most of its best-before date. (Or, if it's at my local grocer's, twice that time.)
Some guy at that meeting—I prefer to think he was the new guy, just promoted from the stock room after being spotted reading the employee handbook on his lunch break, and maybe his name was Bradly or something with a K, and he'd recently been dumped by that blonde who sorts the big spoons down in the Blending And Stirring Department, whose name was definitely Shirley—finally spoke up: “Why don't we just not mix it at all?”
Uproar! Commotion! Rhubarb! What was this lad blathering about? At Big Yogurt Company International, they prided themselves in their quality assurance. They'd been making yogurt since back when it was still sold as curdled milk to keep the rats away. And when a yogurt needed a mixing, well then by golly it was going to get a mixing.
But then New Guy Bradly or something with a K explained: “I'm just saying, we could leave it unmixed and call it Fruit On The Bottom yogurt. It'd be a mix-it-yourself product. Very empowering to the busy homemaker or the middle management types. We could market our liability as a strength.”
They were impressed, hanging on his every word. He paused, just the right amount of time, and then sealed the deal: “Oh hey, here's a thought. We could save a bundle by firing the entire Blending And Stirring Department.”
Anyway, that's what I thought when I ate the yogurt, which was strawberry-banana.
2004 Jun 16 // Link // E-mail
Song in my head: "Just The Other Day" by Blue Angel
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I got on my bike today and rode the Whitest Legs In The World up and down the too many hills in my neighborhood. I live in an area called Forest Hill, and around here they take the Hill more seriously than the Forest. I live at the top of the hilliest hill in the ’hood, so whenever I ride I start off at a (potentially literal) breakneck speed that scares me and sets my eyes a-watering because of the wind.
The rub is when I turn around at whatever midpoint or destination I've set for myself, because from then on I'm riding toward That Damn Hill—which I'll have to climb at the end of my ride when, I safely presume from experience, the Whitest Legs In The World will be quite tired thank you very much.
I love my digs, but I hate That Damn Hill.
2004 Jun 19 // Link // E-mail
Song in my head: "Bad Reputation" by Freedy Johnston
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Those sneaky Sleestacks slipped by me. I only just now found out that a DVD of season one of Land Of The Lost has been announced, and it'll be available this Tuesday. I look forward to a visit to the “World of Sid & Marty Krofft” steeped in nostalgia. Eyes will roll and eyebrows will be raised as I join Marshall, Will and Holly on a routine expedition…
And, yes, I'll admit that Kathy Coleman (ie. Holly Marshall) was one of my first crushes. Who could resist the combination of pigtails, a veritable waterfall of blonde bangs, and shirt with a pattern straight from a tablecloth? Not Little Carrington, that's who. Of course, it was nothing like the lasting bond I formed with Felicity Kendal (as Barbara Good) in the Britcom The Good Life (AKA Good Neighbours). A gal who plants crops in her suburban back yard is going to win my heart every time. And once again, we have blonde, bangs, and plaid. Coincidence?
But I digress.
I'll add Land Of The Lost to my to-watch pile of TV DVDs, which currently includes Buffy The Vampire Slayer season 6, Babylon 5 season 5, and my overlong underopened first two seasons of The Outer Limits.
I'm even more chuffed about my already-en-route copies of the first two seasons of Press Gang (the best TV show of all time) which I've ordered from Amazon.co.uk because they're unavailable on my local continent. (Let's hear a big huzzah for region-free DVD players!)
Reuniting with old TV friends on DVD is a good thing, but where is Max Headroom? Where oh where are The Edison Twins? Where oh where oh where is Brisco County, Jr.? Shucks, even Parker Lewis seems to have gotten lost.
But most importantly of all, why can't I have the complete series of Read All About It on DVD (or any medium for that matter) so I can finally find out if and how the gang at The Herbertville Chronicle defeated the dastardly Duneedon. I have no closure, darn it.
Come to think of it, Lydia Zajc in Read All About It was another gal who stole my young heart sporting pigtails, bangs, and plaid. Clearly, I have a type.
2004 Jun 25 // Link // E-mail
Song in my head: "Slipping Through The Sensors" by Fruit Bats
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Today I read about the “Miss Bellows Falls” Diner, which is an old lunch car diner. It's billed as the “only completely intact example in Vermont of the barrel-roofed Worcester Diner produced by the Worcester Lunch Car Company.”
I've always wanted to eat in one of those, and so the phrase “I have to go there some day” drifted through my mind. (Actually, it didn't so much drift as appear like song subtitles in a movie, complete with the bouncing ball that tells me when to sing each word. Handy, that.)
That phrase—when I mean it, not when I say it with a “have a nice day” intonation—is among those that trigger an automatic addition to my Things To Do Before I Die list. So down at the bottom of The List is a new entry calling for a visit to the diner.
I'll be sure to take snapshots to share with the class.
2004 Jun 26 // Link // E-mail
Song in my head: "I Play Music" by Rosie Thomas
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I returned some (so-called) CDs today. Here is a copy of the letter I just sent EMI Canada via the feedback form on their web site:
I recently purchased a copy of the CD entitled Chinatown by The Be Good Tanyas. The faulty CD would not play in my car, in my computer, nor in one of my home CD players. I exchanged the CD for another copy, and encountered the same difficulties. I subsequently discovered the CD was produced faulty on purpose by EMI Canada—it breaks the Red Book standard with copy control technology. In fact, I suppose therefore it is not technically a “CD” at all.
Needless to say, I returned the disc for a refund. I thought it prudent to let EMI Canada know that this sale was lost solely due to your decision to break from the Red Book standard.
Previously, I have purchased many scores of CDs by EMI artists, including Andrew Hill, Kathy Mattea, John Mayall, Gob, Beastie Boys, Juliana Theory, Etta James, and many others. I shall check for the EMI Canada logo in future and refrain from purchasing music you publish under the assumption that all EMI Canada discs are faulty by intent. When I returned The Be Good Tanyas' disc I also returned my still unopened copies of the latest (so-called) CDs by If We Were Us and Alexisonfire, assuming them to be faulty as well since they carried the EMI Canada logo.
The mind boggling thing is that the persons at EMI Canada who decided to break the Red Book standard with a crippling technology that wastes your customers' time and creates barriers to sales, not to mention inducing antipathy toward the label, have probably been wondering just why it is so many people opt to download music instead of purchasing CDs.
Clearly, the “Keep Music Coming” campaign is a big waste of time when a label itself is so actively encouraging us to do otherwise.
I await their response, if any, which will probably be some missive about how the (non-)CD is labeled as such, and how (so-called) piracy is the reason audio CD sales are down (instead of the fact that fewer CDs are published, or the fact that the boom of replacing records with CDs is over, or the fact that the public knows fully well the material cost of blank CD media compared to music CD retail prices, or the fact that the general public couldn't give a toss about big music labels and doesn't see the few pennies the artist would have received as sufficient incentive to purchase a $25 disc, and on and on.) Whatever. EMI Canada lost my business today.
If we don't support record labels, some day there won't be any.
2004 Jun 27 // Link // E-mail
Song in my head: "Lonely Won't Leave Me Alone" by The Arlenes
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Canada hit the polls today. Well, actually, about a third of us didn't bother, and to that ungrateful bunch I give a big raspberry.
The rest of us have re-elected—with 37 per cent of the popular vote—a Prime Minister and federal party that was recently caught stealing from us. Roll up, roll up for the Magical Misery Tour.
Given a choice between three major parties (tax relief, health care relief, and comic relief), we sent a clear message to Ottawa: “Hey, as long as you're not actually physically breaking into our houses to take our TVs, do whatever you want.”
Go us.
2004 Jun 28 // Link // E-mail
Song in my head: "Wheat Kings" by The Tragically Hip
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I watched the movie Her Alibi on its bare-bones, cropped DVD. I've always had a soft spot for Tom Selleck movies, which is why I was willing to break my “no widescreen, no purchase” policy. The sub-$10 price had a little influence as well.
I was struck by just how terrible the score for that film is. It's not just distracting, it's hilarious. It's full of “wah wah waaah” and “sproing!” noises to accompany the physical humor, swaggering trumpets when the tough guys are on screen, and background themes that Nintendo would have rejected as too corny for Mario to woo Princess Peach with.
Even so, it's not in the same league as the 80's synthapop music by the Alan Parsons Project which underlies the mediaeval action rom-com Ladyhawk. That still gets my vote for most distracting and hilariously inappropriate score of all time.
