As soon as he heard about the "Kids of Steel" triathlon, my 8 year old nephew Jack said he wanted to try to do it.
What?!? Snuh?!? Is he even related to me?
Well, he was serious. Or at least as serious as an 8 year old can be.
aside:
Basically, biking to his friends' houses was now called "training" and a supposed need for carbs became fresh ammo in his daily insistence that he only ever wants to eat bread for every single meal.
end of aside
Today was race day, and of course I was there with my camera a-snappin' and my rootin' a-tootin'.
He was last in the swimming heat, but that only put him behind by about 30 seconds because all the times were so close. He even passed two kids during the transition to biking, and then he passed nine more during the ride. Unfortunately, he was passed in turn by nine kids during the final running stage (or, in his case, the mostly walking with a sprint at the end stage) so he finished third last in his age category.
But the best thing about your very first race is it's guaranteed to be a personal best.
As always, I'm officially the Proudest Uncle Ever.
2005 Jul 01 // Link // E-mail
Song in my head: "Love Your Money" by Daisy Chainsaw
Hidden band name idea: Fresh Ammo
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2005 Jul 05 // Link // E-mail
Song in my head: "Razor Blade Alley" by Madness
Hidden band name idea: The Monster
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My pal Tanya wrote and is performing in a play that's part of the 2005 Fringe of Toronto Theatre Festival (what everyone 'round these parts just calls "the Fringe.")
If you are heading down a-Fringin' way, be sure to check out Thank You by Tanya Smith:
"Inspired in part by the powerful story of Oseola McCarty, an elderly African American woman who graciously donated all of her savings to a University scholarship, this influential account surveys the pervasive nature of appreciation, the ubiquitous confines of the word and the limitless complexion of the human heart. Bent on properly thanking her benefactor young Alena Stevenson arrives at a little seniors' care facility in Southern Mississippi to discover that the person she seeks is not who she expected and that significant lessons can be learned anywhere."
And at the same time that she's acting in the play she wrote, she's directing another play in the Fringe, too. That's my busy gal. This one's called KD and the Bomb:
Directions: Stir pasta into 6 cups boiling, salted water. Boil rapidly, stirring occasionally, 8-9 min. or to desired tenderness. Drain. Boom! We're f#*ked.
From the dangerous studios of York U's Creative Ensemble program and 4 young A.D.D generation artists comes a compelling, quirky, confused and perplexing piece of raw theatre.
Both shows are playing at the Tarragon Theatre Extra Space (30 Bridgman Avenue), and each is just $10 at the door (less for Fringe passholders). See the Fringe web site dates and times and such.
If you do catch one or both of her plays be sure to go up to her afterward and tell her what a great web site she has, and then ask her who is the Talented And Obviously Wonderful person who designed it for her. And when you ask her if that same Talented And Obviously Even More Wonderful Than You'd Originally Thought person ever linked to her site from his blog just to help her Google placement, she'll say "yes."
2005 Jul 08 // Link // E-mail
Song in my head: "Garage Band '69" by Stan Ridgway
Hidden band name idea: KD And The Bomb
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I'm still a fan of the Stumble Upon plugin for Firefox (the one that lets you give a thumbs-up or -down to sites, and pass along recommendations to pals). In particular I keep an eye out for sites that get a stamp of approval by a pair of pals, one of whom recently gave the nod to Cooking To Hook Up.
While the site, and the book it promotes, is much too deep into Cosmo territory for my liking, what I did find interesting was the list of types of girls and in particular my reaction to that list.
I was a bit surprised to note that one of the "types" immediately struck me as very appealing while every one of the others just as quickly chimed my "therein lies no long-term happiness" bell.
aside:
Yes, I have a bell for that.
end of aside
I wonder, too, if the people who know me would correctly guess which is my "type" of girl?
2005 Jul 08 // Link // E-mail
Song in my head: "Cello Suite no. 1 in G Major" by J.S. Bach
Hidden band name idea: The Nod
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Oh internet, you tease. You show me things I want very much but I can't have. You show me vaporware like this incredible keyboard. You tease me with the Twike, which bills itself as a "light electric vehicle" but which I prefer to think of as "gimmegimmegimmegimme." And then there's all the nekkid gals, but we won't get started on that.
But I keep coming back to you, sweet digital mistress, because you also bring me gifts like "My Acid Trip with Groucho," an article that begins as something interesting, grows into something fascinating and angering, and ends as something sad and beautiful.
Come back BITNET, all is forgiven.
2005 Jul 21 // Link // E-mail
Song in my head: "Lady" by Analog Blue
Hidden band name idea: Bring Me Gifts
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I thought that I'd thought of a very funny thing about Catholics and birth control: that they can use the rhythm method but neither the pill nor birth control, which means they're allowed to use mathematics to avoid getting pregnant (which smacks of hypocrisy) but neither chemistry nor physics. And all of this goes some way to explaining why they revere a Plus Sign.
Look how funny I am, thought I. As always, though, before I pop a turn of phrase into my collection of quips to draw upon later—
aside:
Every author has a Wit On Demand pile. They're lying if they say they don't.
end of aside
—I first trudge over to Google to see if someone has written something similar before. There's always the chance that any (or more likely most, or much more likely all) things I write are just regurgitation of other people's ideas from works I've read and think I've forgotten.
In this case, it seems that I was indeed barfing up my betters. H. L. Mencken said it more than a half-century before, and said it better:
It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.
In my defense, I hadn't yet edited my text and I did have that bit about the plus sign (which was actually borrowed from an earlier work of my own—I can't even be original when I'm being original). But few can stand up to Mencken when it comes to turns of phrase, damn his brilliant dead brain. My favorite Mencken quote is:
We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the same sense and to the same extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
Witness more of his wit and smarts on this H. L. Mencken quotes page.
2005 Jul 23 // Link // E-mail
Song in my head: "Soul Deep" by The Box Tops
Hidden band name idea: I Pop
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Not that I'm looking to move south any time soon, but I generally can't resist a "find the best city for you" quiz. I'm weak that way. I think it's because I've lived a fairly nomadic life, having had almost 20 different places I've called home so far.
aside:
Little known Carrington fact: I've lived in two different U.S. states, a dozen houses and apartments around Toronto, a dormitory, and have even called a hotel home at two points in the past. My family has celebrated Christmas in one of those hotels, once on a ship, and another time in a company boardroom. There's talk of holding this year's yuletide festivities at a theme park. And you thought your family was strange.
end of aside
When I clicked the "Stumble Upon" button in FireFox and it lead me to findyourspot.com's where-to-live quiz, I plunged right in to see what it would suggest.
The quiz is a bit long, but I suppose that means it's just taking more into account when it suggests I load my life into a U-Haul and head to a new home town.
Here are the top 5 supposed-best places to relocate my pale Canadian ass:
- Tucson, Arizona: Sonoran Desert Oasis
- Dallas, Texas: The Star of the Lone Star State
- Norfolk, Virginia: Heart of the Hampton Roads
- Charlotte, North Carolina: The Queen City
- Chesapeake-Virginia Beach, Virginia: The Southern Tidewater Region
Both Tucson and Dallas seem to appear at or near the top whenever I take a quiz like this, but this is the first recommendation I've had to relocate to Norfolk. I always thought that city would have too much military and too little theatre for my taste.
Plus, while I'm a Canadian and perhaps my knowledge of U.S. city stats is vague, I seem to recall that Norfolk has 3 times the national average of crime but a third of the hospitals. Or am I making that up?
At any rate I'm not packing my bags any time soon, but it is nice to daydream of a new view from my bedroom window.
2005 Jul 27 // Link // E-mail
Song in my head: "Bad Ax" by Son Seals
Hidden band name idea: The National Average
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An excellent article called "Religion itself is the fount of most evil" can be found over at the Sunday Herald site. It speaks the truth. Go read it now, and feel your brain get a little bigger.
A friendly reminder:
Santa Claus is a fictional character, sometimes useful as allegory but no more real than the Tooth Fairy.
The Tooth Fairy is a fictional character, sometimes useful as allegory but no more real than the Easter Bunny.
The Easter Bunny is a fictional character, sometimes useful as allegory but no more real than God.
God is a fictional character, sometimes useful as allegory but no more real than Winnie The Pooh.
Winnie The Pooh is a fictional character, sometimes useful as allegory but no more real than Santa Claus.
Repeat as required.
