Morbid and fun is a great combination, and so took an instant liking to the tombstone generator. My first three:

Tombstone: It occurs to me there is a difference between hand me a hammer and throw me one.

Tombstone: Mostly, I just miss the porn.

Tombstone: I spy with my little eye something that begins with D.

If you come up with something particularly funny, send it along.

Song in my head: "Arrested for Driving While Blind" by ZZ Top